Like a door that keeps revolving, in a half forgotten dream.

I, once again, completely forgot about this damn blog. Maybe i'm just not made of the stuff regular blogging takes. Or maybe my memory just sucks.

It seems my last post was just before Christmas. Let's update on the points I made then.

The Orthodontist Appointment.
Not that I like to give in to stereotypes but my orthodontist was an unpleasant, ill-mannered and generally evil man. He didn't introduce himself, he didn't address me directly, he didn't even look at me. He put his hands in my mouth without gloves. That probably doesn't mean much to you, but for me, from a germophobic tainted view, it was excruciating; I couldn't stop imagining all of the bacteria he was putting my mouth from his pen and his papers and everything he was doing on his little tray/desk. He announced that he'll need some convincing that I can cope with the corrective braces i'll need after the surgery. He pointed out a slight dip in dental hygiene and a gap in my attendance at my dentist's. I very much see his point, it doesn't paint the portrait of a dedicated person. But his distinct lack of interest in reasons WHY these things were as they were didn't portray a very thorough or professional procedure. Just in case he was interested, i've spent at least 3 years in deep depression, during which attending dentist appointments comes third on the list of important things. Beneath, 'Getting out of Bed' and 'Not killing myself today.' I'm really pissed off I didn't get a chance to defend myself.

Christmas and New Year
Well, they were shit. Not only is it becoming increasingly evident that i'm not a child anymore so Christmas just isn't fun, but this Christmas was especially horrific. Mother was out all day so I had to spend it with father, who left me on my own for an hour so he could go to the pub. Fun. Christmas night was, naturally, spent lying in bed eating myself to death whilst everyone else was having fun.
Same applies for New Year. Spent sitting in listening to everyone have fun. Watching fireworks on my own. It was especially fun to know that all of my friends were out having fun, inviting everyone but me. It seems that my friends love me so much that they wouldn't be seen dead with me.
In the time in between, everyone was having fun, meeting each other, going out, generally being good friends and having good times. I was sitting at home eating, wondering why no one wants to talk to me.

And those are the only two big things I spoke of last time.
Nothing's really happened since.
Been here, on my own, doing nothing. As ever.

And, speaking of no one wanting to talk to me, I reasoned that maybe my friends just don't know i'm depressed about no one talking to me so, in order to make it fair for them, i'll let them know in black and white terms. Facebook. I know, the most sophisticated and mature way (!)
"My Name Here is bored and lonely :( someone please talk to me."
That was about 40 minutes ago and, despite there being 23 people online, no one's attempted.
I'd like to think it's all just an unfortunate coincidence and perhaps everyone's just missed reading it.
But it's pretty obvious that no one actually cares.
Which is sad. Because i'm 18. I should have friends. I should be doing stuff.
A little secret. I've never been invited by anyone to do anything.
And it's amazing how the friends I have specifically avoid situations where they'd feel obligated to ask me to join them. They reassure me that they care, but evidence suggests otherwise. Sure, when it's support and chatting over MSN, they're fine. Because they don't have to do anything. But when it requires effort on their part, they'd rather chew their own limbs off. Which is upsetting. Because i'd quite literally do anything for them.

Look at me, getting all pathetic and emotional aha.

Okay.
I might make this blog a once-weekly thing. Or once every few days or something.

So long, bitch.
I'll go and talk to myself for a while *rolleyes*